SKIP TO NEXT NEXT TOPIC
Almost every kind of prostate cancer treatment, including surgery, can cause changes to your sexual function. Most men will experience erectile dysfunction, or ED, for a time after their prostatectomy. Although you may feel aroused or in the mood for sex after prostate cancer, chances are you’ll have difficulty getting an erection.
Surgery to remove your prostate affects the nerves and blood supply around your penis. Your penis needs a healthy blood flow to get an erection. Without this, your penis will not become as hard as it did before surgery.
During surgery, your entire prostate is removed. The nerves that help create erections run down the left and right side of the prostate. Your surgeon can usually take out the prostate without causing permanent harm to the nerves on either side. But if your cancer is too close to the nerves, they may need to be cut out.
Depending on where the cancer was within the prostate, your surgeon may have been able to avoid cutting the nerves—known as "nerve-sparing" surgery. However, even with nerve-sparing surgery you’ll likely have some trouble getting a hard erection right away after surgery. And some people may not get back their full erectile function. It is important to understand that surgeons cannot see the nerves during the surgery, so they use their knowledge of anatomy to attempt to avoid cutting nerves.
Sometimes the bundles of nerves on both sides of the prostate must come out (non nerve-sparing surgery). Damaged nerves can often recover; however, cut nerves cannot regrow. People who have this kind of surgery will not be able to have erections firm enough for penetration without an erectile aid—such as medications or devices.
You’ll likely have trouble getting a hard erection immediately after surgery. It may take up to 3 years to improve.
The level of function you get back depends on:
How strong your erections were before treatment
If you have other medical problems that affect sexual function, like heart disease or diabetes
Your lifestyle (smoking and not exercising will make erectile dysfunction worse)
Your medications (for example, beta-blockers can cause problems with erections)
Whether you had nerve-sparing surgery, which can reduce the likelihood and severity of ED after prostate surgery
Your willingness to work on penile rehabilitation (there are options)
Some are things you can work on—like exercise and keeping a healthy weight. Some are a bit more out of your control. All are things you can talk about with your doctor, and see what recommendations they have that can help.
Remember, you’ll still have sexual desire. You can still get pleasure from sexual intimacy.
If you're comfortable, you can:
There are different types of sexual aids you can try, all with their own set of pros and cons. Every person is unique so you may need to try out a few options, a number of times and perhaps in combination to settle on the best solution for you. You can find out more here.
You might want to experiment with different sex positions that can help with blood flow to the penis. Depending on how you like to have sex, consider some of the examples below:
Partner on top, you lying down
Partner straddling, you sitting
Lying on your sides, facing each other
Spooning (lying down and cuddling with one person behind the other)
Any positions where you are not standing, on your knees, or on top of the partner
Before surgery, you may have relied on erections as a way to initiate sex. Without spontaneous erections, think about who will initiate and how.
Your partner may need to be the one to get things started.
You could plan ahead when to have sex, so you look forward to it as a special date.
After surgery, you may find that penetrative sex is difficult or impossible. It can help to explore different sex acts that give you both pleasure. For example:
Oral sex, or mutual oral sex (‘69’), which can also be done while laying on your sides if fatigue or weakness is an issue
Mutual masturbation (where you stimulate yourselves or each other) at the same time
Fingering or penetration with sex toys
Hear from someone who’s been there:
This will depend on what type of sex you’re having, and what your role is with your partner.
If you’re having sex with a partner who has a vagina, it’s safe to attempt intercourse as soon as your catheter is removed. This usually happens about two weeks after the surgery. It is unlikely, however, that you’ll be able to achieve erections so soon after your surgery.
If you are the “top” partner, it’s physically safe to have sex and to attempt anal intercourse as soon as your catheter is removed. This usually happens about two weeks after the surgery. It is unlikely, however, that you will be able to achieve erections so soon after your surgery.
If you are the “bottom” partner, it’s physically safe to engage in non-penetrative sex as soon as your catheter is removed. It’s suggested to avoid anal sex for a period of 6 weeks after surgery, to let your internal pelvic region heal. Importantly, it is wise to be cautious and talk to your surgical oncologist about when you can re-engage in sexual activity and anal sex.
Overall, a lot of men are not interested in sex when they are getting over the immediate effects of the surgery. However, there may be an increased need for physical affection for both you and your partner. At this early stage of recovery, you will most likely need to use injections to have erections firm enough for penetration.
As always, if you’ve got questions about ED after prostate cancer and ways to improve, talk to your doctor or care team for support.